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This is, by far, the most ridiculous first paragraph to any new story, ever:

EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. - Two students at Southern Illinois University in this St. Louis suburb kidnapped, paddled and burned a young man with freshly baked cookies after a drug deal went bad, prosecutors said.

Comments (1)

donna :

I completely agree. What's next? Torture at Guantanamo Bay via repeated toe-stubbing?

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Emily (n.) 1983 - Present

A loud-laughing twenty-something female who prefers flip flops to all other shoes, yet has a closet full that go unworn. Can often be found in front of a computer screen designing websites or playing "The Sims". Hates messes, cancelled plans and loud volumes. Loves suffocating summer heat, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (now with banana) and friends who know what you’re going to say before you ever open your mouth.

Warning: often speaks too quickly; listen carefully.

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